As Opposite as Red and Green
By Peter J. Smith
Peter - Good afternoon and welcome, sportsfans, to the Angel Grove Sports Box, located this week in downtown Angel Grove, for a battle that sees two long time rivals once again competing to see just who is the stronger Power Ranger. I'll be your commentator in the Sports Box, Peter Smith.By Peter J. Smith
Kim - And I'll be your special guest commentator for this battle, former original Pink Mighty Morphin' Ranger, Kimberly Hart. The Jason vs. Tommy debate, which has raged ever since the two first met and fought in 'Green with Evil', has been argued about, decided upon and then redecided many, many times across the internet.
Peter - That's right, Kim. And today, we'll be witnessing an interesting variation on the debate. We've taken the Red Ranger's and Green Ranger's dragon zords, put Jason and Tommy at the helm, and dropped both zords into downtown Angel Grove.
Kim - You bet. And now, the Red Dragon Thunderzord and Green Dragonzord will duke it out in a final battle for glory.
Peter - And I for one cannot wait. I just hope that they don't blow up too much of Angel Grove.
Kim - Oh, that's right! You're the guy who blew up Stone Canyon and caused the riots of Muiranthias, aren't you?
Peter - (smiling) It was only a small section of Stone Canyon, and charges were never proved.
Kim - (nodding to herself and smiling) Yep, this should be interesting. Oh, the two guys were told that this is only for fun, weren't they?
Peter - I hope so. But I think we can expect to see some long running tensions surface between Jason and Tommy.
Kim - Actually, I think you're right. Wait a second, I'm getting word here - we have a disturbance in the harbor down near the wharves. Yes, it's been confirmed, Dragonzord is rising from the harbor and powering towards the industrial section of the city. The battle has begun!
Peter - Coming forth from the harbor like Godzilla, Dragonzord slowly steps up onto dry land, sinking several cargo ships and crushing abandoned warehouses as it does. With Tommy in the cockpit, the huge beast then begins to lumber into the CBD.
Kim - But wait! Over the mountains, we have reports of the Red Dragon, with Jason in control, flying towards Angel Grove. Yes, we have a visual - the Red Dragon is flying effortlessly over the city towards Tommy's zord.
Peter - Tommy doesn't appear to have noticed.
Kim - No, he realizes the danger, and Dragonzord spins quickly to face the approaching foe.
Peter - Nothing happens as these two stare each other down. The Red Dragon is now over the outskirts of Angel Grove and closing in fast. Whoa! The approaching Red Dragon has blasted Dragonzord with several huge fireballs!
Kim - It's flame breath scorches Dragonzord and the surrounding skyscrapers. A large section of Angel Grove Park has already burnt to the ground!
Peter - After a while, Dragonzord stumbles back and falls over, crushing the Angel Grove Theatre, unable to withstand the onslaught. I do believe we have, uh, first blood.
Kim - Should the term 'blood' apply here?
Peter - I suppose so. The Red Dragon sails past Dragonzord and back around to make another assault. But Dragonzord is already back on his feet, and as the Red Dragon returns, Dragonzord's chest lights suddenly start flashing.
Kim - It raises its hands to the sky and fires! A huge barrage of fingertip missiles smashes into the Red Dragon's tail section, and it sustains some pretty heavy damage. Dragonzord roars in triumph.
Peter - Jason realies that he may have a problem. The Red Dragon turns and flees back over the city...wait a second, it has turned around over the industrial district, and now, flying back towards Dragonzord, it suddenly begins to glow.
Kim - Morphing in mid-air into Red Dragon Warrior Mode, it lands with a crash that causes nearly every warehouse in the suburb to begin rumbling. Jason now pushes the zord forward, towards Dragonzord...
Peter - Which forces Dragonzord back to the beachside areas. I think we can guess Tommy's strategy here.
Kim - Yep, folks. Jason's Thunderzord, while in Warrior Mode, has far more skills at hand-to-hand combat than Dragonzord. So obviously, Tommy's gonna have to keep this fight at a distance.
Peter - Which he does - the Dragonzord immediately aims its hands and begins firing more missiles at the Red Dragon. Jason's zord nimbly leaps to one side, and the missiles all miss, smashing into several skyscrapers.
Kim - But Dragonzord keeps firing! The Red Dragon ducks under one blast, then rolls forward through several office blocks, before leaping to it's feet and diving forward over yet another blast!
Peter - But in its forward roll, The Red Dragon completely demolishes Angel Grove's First National Bank, reducing the building to rubble.
Kim - We won't get into trouble over that, will we?
Peter - Nah, our insurance should cover that. Although ever since we blew up Stone Canyon, our premiums have hit the roof.
Kim - I don't mean to cut in, Pete, but the Red Dragon has reached Dragonzord and immediately begins throwing punches! It's hand-to-hand combat, zord style!
Peter - The Red Dragon swings a high roundhouse punch, but Dragonzord ducks under its opponent's fist and leaps forward, slashing at the Red Dragon with its hands.
Kim - Jason's zord wasn't prepared for the attack and takes some pretty heavy blows. It staggers back, but it doesn't look like it's recovering quickly enough.
Peter - Tommy takes advantage of this, and the Dragonzord spins around in a classic move, its tail drill slicing back and forth across the Red Dragon's chest plate.
Kim - Dragonzord goes to repeat the move, but Jason expected it - the Red Dragon ducks under the tail drill and slams Dragonzord back.
Peter - Tommy was clearly not prepared for a blow like that. The Dragonzord is knocked off its feet and plows forward into a shopping mall, flattening the building as it lands on its stomach.
Kim - Hang on a minute. The Red Dragon backs up a little and grabs onto IBM's Angel Grove office block. Oh my goodness! The Red Dragon wrenches it out of its foundations, picks it up, and throws it at the still-motionless Dragonzord!
Peter - Whoa, Tommy's gonna feel that one in the morning. Okay, Dragonzord has managed to get back to its feet. It too walks back and, grabbing at a block of apartments, it picks up the building and throws it at Jason's zord.
Kim - The Red Dragon dodges the building, before grabbing Angel Grove Library, picking it up and hurling it at Dragonzord! But Dragonzord ducks under the building, and it comes down with a crash!
Angel Grove Library - CRASH!
Peter - Both zords are looking around now, and, ignoring all of the other surrounding buildings, they walk towards each other.
Kim - And now would be an excellent time to cross to our on-the-spot commentator, Ecliptor. Ecliptor, are you there?
Ecliptor - Yep, I'm here. And boy, let me tell ya, I had better be getting something for doing this gig. This fight is worse than the Carrier Zord battle.
Peter - We can see that from here. So, any thoughts on the fight at hand?
Ecliptor - Yeah, that things are gonna get messy. And beyond that, I think that just maybe Jason can pull this one off, since the Thunderzords were advanced versions of the dinozords, but the rest of this battle is gonna be big. As for me, I'm getting out of here while I still can. See you guys later.
Kim - Many thanks, Ecliptor.
Peter - Oh wait, we have action on the field. The two combatants have reached each other, and the Red Dragon sends Dragonzord stumbling back with a kick to the chestplate.
Kim - The Thunderzord follows it up by smashing Dragonzord with a powerful uppercut.
Peter - Dragonzord recovers quickly and, turning towards the Red Dragon, it swats away another blow before grabbing Jason's zord and slamming it to the ground. The Red Dragon sustains some pretty heavy damage from that blow.
Kim - Dragonzord steps back a little, and its chest lights start shining again! Jason recognizes the threat and the Red Dragon quickly picks itself up.
Peter - But not before a massive volley of missiles launch from Dragonzord's fingertips. Whoa! Jason has summoned the Dragon Staff, and as the staff spins around in mid-air, all of the missiles smash into it and explode without reaching the zord itself.
Kim - Tommy's probably looking worried - this is the kind of thing that he didn't want happening.
Peter - The Red Dragon leaps forward and smashes Dragonzord with its staff! Again and again - the staff is moving so fast its barely visible.
Kim - Dragonzord appears to be holding up pretty well so far, but it doesn't seem able to launch a defense...
Peter - Wow! The Red Dragon has smashed Dragonzord upside the head with the staff. The Green Ranger's zord is sent reeling.
Kim - And Jason follows this up quickly - the Red Dragon Warrior plants its staff forward into the ground and, pausing for a brief second, it leaps into the air!
Peter - Using its staff, the Red Dragon executes a perfect polevault over about ten city blocks. Managing a magnificent flying kick, it slams into Dragonzord and lifts Tommy's zord into the air!
Kim - The Dragonzord flies right over most of the city, and finally, it comes down right over Angel Grove Harbor, landing with an incredible splash that sends huge waves surging up the beach.
Peter - And as the Red Dragon stands victorously over Angel Grove, I think it's pretty clear that we have a winner here today.
Kim - Yep. Jason and the Red Dragonzord have triumphed over Tommy and the Green Dragonzord, and I think that, for =his variation of the Jason/Tommy argument, we can safely say that Jason is the winner.
Peter - Wait a second, Jason has just teleported down out of his zord and into the city, and Tommy too has teleported in a flash of green light from out of the harbor and into Angel Grove. The two remove their helmets and then walk up to each other. I wonder what they're doing...
Kim - Would you look at that! They're shaking hands - all is forgiven. Great sportsmanship and gentlemen right to the very end. Ain't that something special?
Peter - Absolutely. Just the kind of thing we'd expect from Jason and Tommy. So, wrapping this fight up, be sure to join me again next week when I'll be broadcasting live from Angel Grove's abandoned warehouse district, where we can blow stuff up to our heart's content and have no one mind. This has been Peter Smith, signing off from the Angel Grove Sports Box. Good night.
thc