Casting Stones VII
by
Dagmar Buse
Jason instinctively tried to turn his head as he heard the door to his hospital room open. He was prevented from doing so for more than a couple of inches by the sandbags immobilizing him. Dr. Jones had explained to him earlier, as they transferred him from ICU to a regular ward, that it was necessary because of his hairline skull fracture, but that didn't make it any easier to bear. Cursing mentally at the blinding pain shooting through his skull that even such a slight attempt at movement caused, he rolled his eyes sideways as far as he could, wanting to see his visitor. Soon a slender figure stepped into his still somewhat blurry vision.
"Good morning, love," Kat smiled tenderly at her husband.
"Kat," Jason mumbled, confused, elated and excited at the same time. He'd never seen, or heard, that particular expression in her eyes and voice before, not even in their most intimate moments. He ached in regions of his body he hadn't known existed, much less expected to be so sensitive to even the slightest movement, was still deathly tired and damnably weak, but that didn't prevent him from thoroughly enjoying the soft-as-petals kiss Kat bestowed on his lips. When the gentle pressure eased, he sought the softly glowing eyes with his own.
"I ... thought I'd ... been ... dreaming," he whispered with an effort. "Wasn't I?"
The blonde sat down on the trusty footstool and reached for her husband's hand, cupping her cheek in the palm in a rapidly-becoming familiar gesture. She didn't pretend to misunderstand.
"No, you weren't, dearest. Not unless I was dreaming, too."
Midnight eyes shone with sudden happiness, despite the traces of pain lingering in their depths. A smile played around the firm mouth and still-weak fingers touched a soft, pale cheek down which a single tear slid, leaving a silvery trail in its wake. Jason wiped it away with unsteady fingers.
"I'm glad."
"Me, too. I love you, Jason."
The need to say this to him had been overwhelming; finding Jason conscious and alert was just too much for it to be held back a single moment longer. Besides, it was the most important thing Kat could think of to tell Jason now that his physician had assured her he was going to be on the mend. It would be a long, slow process; Jason's injuries had been too severe, and he'd come too close to death for comfort, but he would live, and that was all that mattered. Everything else, they could deal with in its own time.
"Love you, too, Kitten," he murmured back, momentarily near-stunned by the rush of sheer pleasure coursing through him. To his surprise, he saw a flood of color stain the porcelain face, and Kat lowered her eyes, as if to hide from his gaze. "Kat?"
Blue eyes hesitantly met his; they were filled with a mixture of pain and shame just as they'd been at the beginning of their relationship. Then, it had been because of the wrong they'd both done Tommy; now ... there was no reason Jason could come up with in his tired mind that would cause that particular reaction. Some of his confusion must have transmitted itself to Kat, because she tried a wobbly smile before she whispered barely audibly, "I'm sorry ..."
"For what?" Jason asked, thoroughly befuddled. They'd just admitted that they loved each other; what was there to be sorry for?
"F-for what I said to you on Thursday morning," Kat murmured, once more looking away. However, a moment later she bravely met the dark eyes. She needed to get this off her chest as soon as possible, and spoke in a rush.
"Jase, please believe me, I ... I didn't mean it. I mean, I was serious at the time, but I could never have done it; I only thought I wanted to leave you, but I couldn't ... can't, not really; I thought Tommy wanted me back, he said something on TV that made me believe, only he didn't, it was just a diversion, and I was being stupid and thought ... but I didn't know then that it's you I love, I only thought I was still in love with Tommy, I ... are you laughing at me?" she finally stopped her increasingly muddled explanation as she felt the bed shake slightly and heard Jason wince; the chuckles he couldn't suppress hurt, in places he hadn't even known could hurt.
"A little bit," he admitted in a hoarse whisper once he'd calmed down again. Seeing the look of pained confusion cross the still-pale features, he tightened his fingers as much as he was able around the slim hand which rested in his.
"Kat, love, it doesn't matter," Jason murmured soothingly. "You're here with me now, you said you love me ... and I believe you. All else is already forgotten."
"H-how c-can you?" Kat sobbed once, the memory of her selfishness very vivid as was the memory of the shadow darkening Jason's eyes at her announcement. "I never thought of you, only of myself ... " a muted moan from her husband stopped her as he instinctively tried to turn towards her. "Jason, don't! You'll hurt yourself!"
He grinned weakly as he settled back onto the pillow and waited for the pain from his broken ribs to subside. The ever-present splitting headache also had increased significantly. A part of Jason wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, but this was too important. With an effort, he made himself say what needed to be said.
"Tell me about it." He dismissed Kat's alarm over his discomfort with a quirky smile that did nothing to reassure his wife, and ploughed on regardless. "Kat ... I love you. If I really wasn't dreaming last night, I seem to remember you promised me not to leave me. I'll hold you to that promise ... and we can talk about the rest tonight. Or tomorrow, I don't care. I'm gonna be here a while yet; we'll have time. Okay?"
Kat's heart swelled with sympathy as she listened to Jason's halting words, often interrupted by the need to gasp for breath. He was speaking slowly and so softly, she had to strain her ears to understand everything over the muted din of the hospital ward, but once the meaning sank in, she found a smile that came from the bottom of her soul. As she'd done so often since the accident, she raised the weak hand to her lips, caressing the palm and back softly. It was so good to feel Jason's skin warm and alive against her face again!
"I know, love. I just needed to say I'm sorry because I am. More than I can ever say." She kissed the back of Jason's fingers.
"'s okay, Kat," he murmured, yawning. His exhaustion was catching up with him, fast. The aftermath of his injuries, and the medication still administered to him via IV drip, made him extremely sleepy. But ... Jason forced his drooping eyelids open once more and found another engaging grin for his contrite wife. Touching a forefinger against the corner of the rosy mouth, he tried for a suggestive tone. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work in the weak whisper that was all he was capable of at the moment.
"I'd rather you gave me a real kiss."
"Oh, you ...!" Kat couldn't help but laugh through her remorse and still-brimming eyes. But she complied with the pleading look, got up and leaned over Jason. With trembling lips, she touched his forehead, eyes, cheeks and finally the warm mouth.
"I love you, Jason," she reaffirmed as they parted at last. Her reward was a shaky but pleased smile as the dark eyes closed and within a few moments, the handsome features relaxed and deep, even breaths revealed that he'd fallen into much-needed healing sleep.
Kat sat for a few more minutes holding on to her husband's hand, sending up a grateful prayer to the Heavens that she'd ... no, that they'd been given a second chance, and she vowed to herself that she wouldn't waste it. Not again.
~*~
Jason awoke on Sunday slightly more rested and alert, and he waited as patiently as possible for Kat's visit, suffering the nurses' ministrations with barely-controlled exasperation. He hated being washed and tended to like a baby! However, banged up and bruised, bandaged and partially immobilized as he was, he didn't have much of a choice. Grudgingly Jason admitted to himself the sponge bath he'd been given did feel rather good; it had taken care of the persistent itching the grime from his accident had left on his skin.
Most of the tubes and monitors had been removed from his body; only the ubiquitous nasal tube and the necessary IV drip were still attached. Jason watched somewhat bemusedly as the head nurse hooked up not only a bag with nutrients, but also a second plastic container that held a dark red liquid that could only be blood. It set his mind to whirling and was the main reason he wanted to see Kat he knew only too well that there was only one person to his knowledge who could donate blood to him safely.
Tommy.
*Do I dare believe it was him? Two years ago, I would've assumed shit, I would've known that Tommy had been the one. But after what we did to him ... he really had no reason to ... how could he have known?*
The questions danced in his brain like butterflies drunk on sunshine, and Jason let himself drift while he waited, idly going through possible scenarios.
*Of course, it is possible that somehow, somewhere, they found another donor for me ...*
Somehow, though, there was a core of certainty deep in his soul that just knew Tommy had been the one to save his life; Dr. Jones had, at Jason's insistence, told him exactly what was wrong with him the extent of his injuries, possible consequences, and the measures he had taken to make sure his patient survived. Due to patient confidentiality, however, he hadn't divulged the name of the blood donor, even though Jason had asked. However, it had taken every ounce of mental agility he possessed (which admittedly wasn't much right now, exhausted as he was) and a lot of evasiveness and fancy verbal footwork to escape the doctor's quite natural curiosity about the element in his blood that had caused so many problems. If it had been Tommy who'd donated to him, they'd have to get at least their stories straight to explain what they'd taken to call the "Ranger Factor" all those years ago. Jason experienced a small thrill at the thought of talking to his best friend again. It was half fear, half delight, but ...
He was startled out of his reverie by the arrival of his blonde wife, who greeted him with a smile and a very loving kiss two things the injured young man felt he could very easily get used to every morning. And night, or any other time of the day. The thought brought some much-needed color to his cheeks.
"Hi."
"Hi yourself," Jason replied, groping for the control that would raise him into a slightly reclining position instead of lying flat on his back. He wasn't allowed to do it for long, but he infinitely preferred it to the feeling of helplessness he experienced otherwise. "How're you? And the baby?"
"He's fine," Kat smiled. "We all are, now that you're out of danger.Your mom is having her hands full; she can't even go to Church this morning, although she said she really wanted to especially today."
Having witnessed Helen Scott's teary-eyed relief at her son's recovery the night before, Jason knew what Kat was referring to. However, he also knew his mother. And his father.
"Don't tell me she's not loving every minute of it," he grinned. "Mom and Dad have been dying to have Robin all to themselves for months."
"I know. Otherwise, I'd be feeling totally guilty about this," Kat sighed a bit ruefully. She'd need her in-laws' support and help in the days to come; the weekend was going to be over the next day, and she had to go back to work. Rocky's sisters would be at school until early afternoon, and Daycare wouldn't cover all the time she'd be away. When her parents came back from Australia ... but that wouldn't be for another ten days. In the meantime, they just couldn't afford to miss her income. Bulk's boss had called and reassured her that Jason's hospital bills would be picked up by the company's insurance, since the evidence was clear-cut that it had been the company's fault ... but it would take a while for the paperwork to be processed, and right now nobody could say how long Jason would be out of commission or if he would recover completely. The prognosis was cautiously optimistic, but ....
"Don't, Kat," Jason interrupted her thoughts softly. He had a fairly good idea where she'd mentally wandered off to; it was nothing that hadn't crossed his own mind while he was dozing the night away, waking at odd hours and waiting for the morning. "My folks love the baby, and they love us; they don't mind helping out. We'll find a way to thank them properly once I'm on my feet again."
"Jason ..." Kat sighed helplessly, but was cut off by her husband's weak, but determined voice.
"No. Or rather, yes. I will recover, honey. I know what's wrong with me, I know it's probably gonna take a long time, but I will come back. I just know it." He reached out to touch her face. "I have too much to live for not to. Besides, I won't saddle you with an invalid."
"It wouldn't matter if you were," Kat whispered sincerely, but feeling strangely heartened. She knew Jason's determination and fierce will and courage. If he could believe he would recover, she would, too.
Their eyes met, full of promises, and both smiled lovingly at each other, wishing they had more privacy and greater ease of movement to truly embrace. Before they could give voice to anything else, though, they were interrupted by a somewhat hesitant knock on the door. Jason looked at his wife, puzzled. He knew it couldn't be his parents; who ...?
Kat shrugged at the mute question, but an excited little smile began to play around her lips as she called out "Come in!". Her suspcions were confirmed when the door to Jason's private room courtesy of the construction company's insurance opened and a group of five filed in, three of which were sporting rather sheepish expressions. However, Jason's features lit up with genuine pleasure as he recognized his friends.
"Guys!"
The single word, though still weakly spoken, conveyed a world of gratitude and delight, and it brought Trini and Zack to his side immediately. A strong handshake, a careful hug and kiss were all that were needed between the longtime friends. As soon as Trini straightened up again, though, Jason zeroed in on the trio waiting somewhat hesitantly at the foot of his bed. Tanya smiled at him through misty eyes, and Jason returned it; however, most of his attention focussed on Rocky and Adam.
Three pairs of eyes, in varying shades of deep brown, locked gazes.
Adam had to look away after only a second or two; seeing Jason like this, he was all too aware of how badly he'd handled the whole situation a year ago, and was feeling deeply ashamed of himself. Especially since, in that one long look, he'd seen no trace of accusation in Jason's expression, but just questions, and genuine pleasure.
Nobody said anything for a few moments, then Rocky broke the awkward silence with what he thought was an innocuous enough question.
"How do you feel?"
Jason turned slightly toward his erstwhile successor.
"Like a roof fell on me," he deadpanned. There was an instant of shocked stillness, then Zack half-stifled a giggle; he was quite familiar with his oldest friend's sometimes rather ... off-beat sense of humor. He winked at Tanya, who started to chuckle; she in turn set Rocky off, and soon even Adam joined in. Laughter filled the sunny hospital room for several seconds, and only Trini noticed the slight hysterical edge to it that was partially due to guilt, and partially to relief. However, she wisely said nothing; her friends needed the release from all the tension they'd been under, both physically and emotionally.
"Jason...!" she admonished though, smiling, as the laughter died down. "Behave!"
"Why?" the patient grinned. "That's no fun ..."
"... and there's been precious little fun around here lately," Zack added, coming to Jason's aid. "Not only these last few days, but overall. Man, we used to laugh together all the time ..."
"Until Kat and I blew it," Jason said, suddenly sober. "Guys ... I know I speak for Kat, too, when I apologize to all of you. We not only hurt Tommy, but you as well, splitting us the team up. That should never have happened, and we're sorry."
"Yes," Kat confirmed. "We never meant to make any of you choose sides, and would give anything if we could make all the anguish of this last year go away. I know we can't, but I do hope you'll be able to forgive us." She blushed, memories of her own pain shadowing the blue eyes, but met her friends' incredulous looks bravely. Jason's fingers tightened reassuringly around hers as the couple waited for a reaction. They'd wanted to apologize like this for a very long time.
"You're sorry?!?" Adam choked at last, unable to keep silent any longer. "What about me, and Rocky? Tanya at least tried to understand, but when I think of how I refused to even listen for months ... I even made things more difficult for her, all but forcing her to neglect her best friend's needs! We judged you without giving you a chance to explain; we took Tommy's side without question. If anyone broke up the team, it was us!"
"Yeah," Rocky mumbled, blushing guiltily. "If anyone should be apologizing, it should be us ..."
Before anyone could say anything else, Jason raised his voice as much as he was able. Despite his obvious physical weakness, the Command Tone was very evident, and both Rocky and Adam responded automatically to his authority as a Leader, even though they'd never served under Jason as Rangers.
"Stop it!"
All eyes turned toward him. Jason instinctively tried to sit up, winced with the pain the sudden movement caused his broken ribs, and slumped back into the mattress, his head beginning to pound mercilessly. Kat leaned over him worriedly, but Jason reassured his wife with a look and fleeting smile. He cursed once under his breath as the various aches in his body began to subside, but forced himself to ignore his discomfort.
"Guys ... I don't want to fight with you over this. Not again. Kat told me how much you were there for her last weekend, when she needed your support. As far as I'm concerned, that's what counts not what went on before."
Jason drew a few deep breaths, trying to still his racing pulse. Shifting on the hospital bed until he'd found a position that was marginally more comfortable even after less than two days, he was coming to hate his inability to move freely he fixed each of his friends, including Zack and Trini, with his dark eyes.
"All of you were there for us when we needed you most. That's all that counts; all that matters. As far as I'm concerned, the case is closed."
"Please," Kat added softly, her voice a curious counterpart to her husband's weak, but determined tone. "I for one was, and still am, just so happy to have you here, to know that Jason will live ... if you're willing, and if you can forgive us, can't we all be friends again?" Her pleading look, filled with cautious hope, sought out the others' eyes.
Adam and Rocky exchanged a quick glance with each other, then searched the faces of Trini and Zack those of the former Rangers who had given their support to Jason and Kat almost right away, after listening to both sides. They found only smiling encouragement, which eased a lot of the tension filling the quiet room.
"Please, Adam," the erstwhile Green Ranger heard Tanya murmuring at his side. "You know it's what we've always hoped for ... isnt it?" She was clearly itching to go to Kat's side, but wouldn't leave her husband just like she'd done for the past year and more. Slowly, Adam felt something heavy and oppressing lift from his heart as his eyes sought ought his injured friend and teammate's. They, too, reflected only hope, and ... affection? His trademark shy grin began twitching at the corners of his mouth, and for once Adam didn't wait for Rocky to make the final choice for both of them, as used to be his habit. This was right.
"If you're sure?" he nevertheless felt compelled to ask, already moving slowly towards the side of Jason's bed.
"I'm sure. We both are," Jason confirmed, never losing eye contact. Sliding his hand out of Katherine's slender fingers, he reached out to Adam. Without hesitation, the Asian grasped the offered hand, and Rocky joined his own on top. The three men held onto each other for a long minute, communicating silently as the bond of their friendship rewove itself. Tears slid noiselessly down Kat's cheeks as she watched, too happy to say anything, but she returned her best friend's embrace gladly as Tanya hugged her, sniffling slightly herself. Zack and Trini watched the emotional reunion with moist eyes and giddy grins, exhaling noisily as the moment peaked and passed.
~*~
"Well!" Zack grinned as Adam and Rocky took up their former positions at the foot of Jason's bed and everybody had had a chance to regain some composure.
"Now that that's over with, what's going to happen now?"
"What do you mean?" Tanya asked, pulling over a chair to sit next to Kat.
"Well, Jase's going to be here for quite a while at least until his skull fracture heals enough for him to be out of bed. At a guess, that'll take at least a month ..."
"The treatment and hospital costs will be covered by the construction company's insurance," Kat answered for her husband, correctly divining what Zack was getting at. "However, I don't know what to do about Jason's school ..."
A frown crossed the exhausted face, but Jason had to admit, he was worried himself. True, he had an assistant, but Michael couldn't be expected to run the dojo all by himself for weeks on end. He didn't want to burden his friends with his business problems, though.
"We'll manage somehow ..." he started to say, but to his surprise Rocky interrupted him, grinning a bit bashfully.
"I've given the matter some thought," the young sensei began, only to be interrupted by a playful "Uh-oh!" from the irrepressible Zack. He scowled at the first Black Ranger for a second, until he couldn't help himself and chuckled somewhat ruefully.
"Smartass. -- As I was saying, I thought about this, made a couple of calls yesterday, and ... well, to make a long story short, how would you feel if I took on at least some of your students for the time being? Some can come over to my place in Stone Canyon, I think I can arrange to teach a couple of classes here in Angel Grove ... and Justin is doing grad work at AGU this fall; he's willing to take over the Saturday groups." Rocky's successor was still in loose contact with his former teammates, but the difference in their ages, plus his research in Spatial Engineering prevented a really close association. He'd mostly (and perhaps wisely) had kept out of the conflict among the older ex-Rangers, not wanting to choose sides in a quarrel not his own.
"That ... that'd be fantastic," Jason stammered, stunned. It still would put his school on a very precarious footing, financially and otherwise, but at least it would leave him with a business to come back to, once he was fully recovered. "B-but guys ... I really can't ask you to do that ..."
"You're not asking, we're offering," Rocky said firmly, meeting Jason's incredulous gaze steadily. It was a small way of making up for his stubbornness and neglect. "It's what friends do ... and we are friends, as you rightly reminded me on Thursday morning. Aren't we?"
The question hung between them, then a slow, relieved smile stole over Jason's features. Once again, he reached out, and clasped Rocky's hand in his own.
"Yes, we are," he said huskily. "Thanks, buddy. I owe you not only for this, but also for saving my life. Kat told me that if you hadn't known exactly where to search for me ..."
"Forget it, Jase," Rocky smiled, blushing slightly. "It was pure chance that I wasn't standing right next to you, and that I was looking back towards you. If I hadn't gone to my car to get that measuring tape ... Bulk had as much if not more to do with digging you out than I had."
"I know, and I plan to thank him properly as soon as I'm able," Jason replied. He shifted under the covers, and winced as the pain from his injuries made itself known most unpleasantly. A sudden pallor spread across his face, and a monitor began to emit a high-pitched beeping. Within a few minutes, the five friends found themselves shooed outside by a nurse and a doctor, come to see that their patient wasn't overtaxing himself. Kat followed outside and hugged each warmly.
"Thank you so much," she sighed, wiping at her moist eyes. "If you knew how much this means to both of us ..."
"I think we do, Kat," Adam answered seriously. He'd seen the same signs of relief and delight he was feeling himself in the others' eyes. "This wasn't easy on any of us, I know that now, even though I refused to see it until it was almost too late. Let's just be thankful it's all over, and we can put it behind us." He wasn't only talking about Jason's accident, and they all knew it.
"Not everything's over yet, Adam," the dancer smiled mistily, her eyes sweeping automatically down the floor to the room where Tommy had spent all of yesterday. She hadn't seen him since the moment he'd gone into Jason's room to give his blood to save his friend, and had learned from Kimberly earlier in the day that he'd left the hospital late on Saturday night, without saying goodbye to any of the Rangers. Kat desperately wanted no, needed to thank him, but was unsure about seeking Tommy out herself again. What if he refused to see her? He could have just donated his blood out of a sense of responsibility ...
*Oh, I hope I can see him,* Kat prayed fervently. *Just once, I'd like to thank him and apologize ... if he'll let me!*
However, the reconciliation she'd just witnessed gave her hope that she might yet get to talk to him, after all. It might take time, but thanks to Tommy's coming through for Jason, that was something they had once more. Shaking herself mentally, Kat returned to the present. She found that her friends had been able to follow her train of thought quite easily.
"Give it time, Kat," Tanya said gently, hugging her best friend. "Tommy probably needs to think this all through on his own. You know how he is. You'll get your chance to talk to him, I'm sure."
"Yeah," Zack agreed. "He's always stuck to a decision once he's made it, and saw it through, with all consequences. He saved Jason's life, after all, and he wouldn't have done that if there wasn't still something left of their friendship."
"At least I don't think he hates us anymore," Kat murmured, heartened by her friends' support. That last look she'd exchanged with her ex-boyfriend before he'd been whisked away by Dr. Jones had been serious and a little sad, now that she remembered. True, she'd been blinded by tears, but Kat could not recall the icy disdain she'd seen in the chocolate eyes earlier that day. It made her feel a little better. "Whatever else comes of this, we at least know Tommy cared enough not to let Jason die."
"Don't give up hope yet; maybe he'll be back to talk it all out before you know it. Tommy loved you very much, and Jason was very close to him right from the start; that's why he was hurt so deeply. But he has Kim back now, and I know that she at least wants things really back to the way they used to be." Trini's words brought a more genuine smile to Kat's face as she contemplated the truth in them.
"Trini's right, Kat," Adam said, smiling lightly. "Just look at us; if Jason and you can forgive Rocky and me, surely Tommy can forgive the two of you by now."
"That's different," the blonde protested, but before the six friends could get embroiled in a lengthy discussion, Katherine was called back into Jason's room by a nurse. Smiling apologetically, she took her leave, and the others went back home, promising to stay in touch.
~*~
Several days passed, during which Jason's recovery progressed slowly but steadily. Gradually the Scotts' life fell into a routine as Kat had to return to work, dividing her time between classes, daily hospital visits to Jason and spending time with her baby son. The nice weather held on, and she took the opportunity one afternoon about a week after the accident to take a walk in the park, slowly pushing the baby carriage along the pathways she knew so well. At last, she stopped for a break at a bench overlooking the lake, relaxing in the warm afternoon sun as her baby awoke from his nap, gurgling happily, waving his little fists energetically in the air until he noisily demanded his lunch.
Smiling, Kat fished a bottle of formula out of its insulating container in the diaper bag and picked up the sturdy little boy, settling him across her lap and started to feed him, humming a soft melody as she caressed the dark hair.
~*~
Tommy walked through the park as he had so often ever since he'd moved to Angel Grove all these years ago. The October sun was surprisingly warm, and a lot of people were out; but then, that was nothing new, really; the park had always been a popular place, monster attacks and all notwithstanding. He was lost in his thoughts and memories of the times he and his friends had spent here playing, relaxing, fighting monsters, just hanging out .... and on balance, most of them had been good times. Scenes of his youth flashed through his mind ... his first kiss with Kim; getting captured by Goldar to lose his Green Ranger Powers, hiding from Bulk and Skull, meeting Rocky, Adam and Aisha, looking after the spaceship that had taken Billy to Aquitar, fighting as the White Ranger for the first time, Kat meeting the others after their near-disastrous first encounter ... consoling Jason as he'd lost the Gold Powers.
Jason. It was amazing, really, how many memories of his adolescence were entwined with images of his best friend. But then again, they'd connected with each other on a level that had defied description right from the start. He, the loner who had always kept others at bay for fear of getting hurt, and Jason, the popular one, with his circle of close friends, leader of the Power Rangers, who nevertheless didn't hesitate for an instant to draw him into his tight little group of friends, accepting him just as he was.
Jason had made him a part of that group, giving Tommy what he'd always wanted and needed friends who would stand by him, no matter what. Of course, with their closeness inevitably had come hurt friends leaving, moving on with their lives, seemingly leaving him behind; first Jason, Zack and Trini, then Kim, Aisha, Billy ... and yet, deep down, they all knew had always known that if the need was great, they'd be there for each other.
He'd missed that over the last year more than he'd admitted to himself; Tommy knew that those of 'the gang' still around had inadvertently chosen sides when Jason and Kat had hurt him by becoming involved. Maybe it had been inescapable, and some part of Tommy was gratified that most of them had supported him, but even through the pain and outrage, there had been a sense of ... wrongness ... about the situation it just wasn't right that he and Jason were at odds, no matter what the reason. He was still a little bit angry about their betrayal, but as soon as he'd made the decision to save Jason's life, strangely enough his anger had begun to abate ... almost as if he'd finally taken the first steps on the road to forgiving Kat and Jason, and as if that was also the beginning of healing.
If Tommy was totally honest with himself, he'd have to admit that the process had started even earlier, that one night in New Orleans when he'd kissed Kim with an adult's passion for the first time, and only a phone call had prevented the same kind of thing that had happened to Jason and Kat. Lying on that hospital bed, watching his blood flow into Jason's veins, Tommy had known he wanted his friend back in his life. Maybe now that they were both healing, Jason physically and he himself emotionally, they could find a way back to what they once shared together. As always. The way it should be.
*If only I could find a way to talk to Jason,* the young man mused as he meandered aimlessly along the paved pathways. *But I don't know the right words ... what can I say to him? How do I face him, after all that has happened? Yes, he hurt me, but so did I ... the things I said to him when I confronted him, I knew even then at some level that at least half of it just wasn't true. I beat him up like a common bully, and even though I could see he wanted to fight back, he never lifted a hand, taking everything I dished out without protest. Could I have done that if our situations had been reversed? I doubt it,* Tommy admitted silently as his feet took him where they would. Lost in his thoughts, he never noticed the petite woman dressed in a pink sweatsuit jogging along the beach.
Kimberly recognized her lover, and changed her path, smiling. Ever since Tommy had left the hospital, he'd been pensive, not saying much, and she cared enough to give him the time and space he obviously needed. However, it would be nice to revisit a few of the places they'd hung out at as teenagers. Slowing to an energetic walk, she followed Tommy at a distance, waiting for him to come out of his reverie.
*Can Jase forgive me for hitting him?*
The answer was simple, and unequivocal.
*Of course he can. Question is, can I forgive him? And Kat? A week ago, I would've said no, but today ... I think so. I'll have to, if I want him back as my friend. And if I know nothing else, I know I want that. But ... how do I manage that? And Kat ... the way I treated her when she begged me to save him ... I can't believe I was being so mean, letting her think even for an instant that I was going to let Jason die. Mom was right, that was downright cruel. The look in Kat's eyes ... I might as well have stabbed her in the heart. Man, I wish someone would help me out here!*
Without realizing it, lost in his thoughts, Tommy had wandered to the picnic area on top of the rise near the lake. The sight of a familiar blond head over a pink pullover almost made him turn back, but then he squared his shoulders. He'd run from Kat long enough. It was past time to face her, and maybe, just maybe this was the opportunity he'd been waiting for.
She didn't hear him over her humming as he stepped up to the bench she was sitting on; her head was bowed as if she was concentrating very intently on something she held in her lap. Looking over her shoulder, Tommy suddenly saw that it wasn't something, but someone a very small someone with a shock of dark hair and bright, familiar dark eyes. The baby saw him appear and immediately turned his head towards him, expelling the nipple of his milk bottle as he did so. The wide grin showed two tiny white teeth in his lower gum, like an upside-down rabbit's, and Tommy couldn't help but grin back. Jason's son gurgled a greeting and waved a tiny fist, then made a determined grab for his lunch again. Kat's soft laughter was full of warmth and love, and something inside of Tommy clenched with renewed pain she used to laugh for him that way. But he tamped it down that part of their lives was over. Even were it not for the precious little being she cradled, he'd realized it by the look in her eyes when she'd learned that Jason had a chance to live, thanks to him. Right now, he had more than enough to deal with the surprise and wariness he could read in the blue orbs as she turned to look up at him.
"Hey, Kat," he said quietly.
"Tommy what are you doing here?!"
"Taking a walk," he replied, rounding the bench and sinking down next to her. "Thinking."
"Oh?" she said, shifting the baby in her arms as he noisily finished off his bottle. "About anything ... special?"
Tommy disliked hearing the caution in her subdued tones, but knew it was probably inevitable. He'd been anything but cordial the last time they had talked. Choosing to ignore that for the time being, he picked up the diaper bag as he saw Kat awkwardly reaching for it. She smiled her thanks, a bit tentatively, and extracted a cloth diaper, draped it over her shoulder and lifting her son up waited for the baby boy to burp. When he did so, the noise emitting from that tiny but sturdy body was so loud, the two adults broke into startled laughter. It dispelled part of the tension between them, and they were rewarded with another big, infectious grin from the baby.
"He's beautiful," Tommy said, meaning it. Already, at seven months, he could see Jason's easy charm in the sparkling dark eyes which were trained on him now with a tiny frown.
"Thank you," Kat answered softly, her motherly pride unmistakeable. "He's worth everything."
"I can see why." And he could; looking into the baby's face, Tommy knew that this child was very much loved. Briefly, he wondered if Kat would've held his child like she was holding Jason's son, but immediately dismissed the thought as unworthy. Of course she would ... only, he'd never given her the chance, he knew that now. He'd been too involved with himself, in his career, in winning races to consider Kat's wishes. He hadn't intentionally neglected her, but with the clarity of hindsight Tommy knew that however unconsciously, Kat had been ready for a family, to settle down and he hadn't been. Still wasn't, to tell the truth, his renewed relationship with Kimberly notwithstanding. Not that he didn't want a family of his own one day, but that was in his future he still had places to go, things to do, sights to see. As did Kim. Kat and Jason had found their places in life with each other, and Tommy suddenly hoped that out of the ashes of their former relationship, through all of the hurt and pain, they could build something new together, something that would allow them to share friendship again.
A moist little hand thrust into his long hair brought Tommy out of his reverie. Surprised, he jerked his head back, and was startled by Kat's amused giggle. "Sorry, he does that sometimes," she apologized. Tommy grinned his understanding as he saw her tuck a strand of pale-gold hair behind her ear, out of harm's way. The baby squealed infectiously, bouncing up and down on Kat's knees. The young man instinctively reached out with a finger to the boy and found it grabbed in a surprisingly strong little fist.
"Whoa!" he laughed as he found his finger being drawn to the tiny mouth. "You just had lunch, tiger!" He tried to pull back, but the baby began to squirm in his mother's arms, following his hand. "What's he trying to do?"
"I think he wants you to hold him," Kat smiled indulgently, spontaneously placing the warm little body onto Tommy's lap. Startled, the young man held him up the way Kat had shown him with little Joey all those years ago, and felt him settle against his shoulder, trustingly resting his head so he could look at him. Smiling contentedly, the little boy shoved a fist into his mouth. Sucking noisily for a few moments, the large eyes slowly drifted closed, and Tommy felt the sturdy body go limp and heavy in sleep against his chest. Hardly daring to breathe, he waited a while, then Kat gently took her son back from him and tucked him into the baby carriage, lightly covering him with a soft cotton blanket.
Not really knowing what to say, Tommy smoothed a hand over the thatch of hair that promised to be as thick and dark as Jason's, then blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, barely remembering to keep his voice down.
"What's his name? I don't think you ever said ...."
"I haven't," Kat admitted. To Tommy's surprise, she blushed slightly. "It's Robin, after my father."
"Oh yeah, his name's Robert, right?"
"Yes we didn't want him to be called Bob, or Bobby, so Robin was the next best choice."
"Robin Scott ... sounds good. What did you do for a second name?" It was a logical question, since Robin was a non-gender-specific name, but to Tommy's surprise, Kat's blush intensified. She met his eyes unflinchingly, however, as she dropped a small bombshell onto him.
"It's .... it's Thomas. His full name is Robin Thomas Scott."
Tommy's slight shock was unmistakeable, and Kat smiled a bit wistfully. "It was Jason's wish. He said he wanted to keep at least one promise he'd made to you, and I ... I wanted it, too. That way, we could keep at least a part of you with us."
Kat spoke quietly, with no trace of accusation in her voice, just a tinge of sadness, and it brought a lump to Tommy's throat as he looked away from those deep blue eyes. He knew exactly what promise she was referring to; on a long-ago weekend that he and Jason had spent together camping in the mountains, they had promised each other several things in their youthful idealism, one of which was to name their firstborn son after the other and to stand godfather to them if it should ever come to pass. Briefly, Tommy wondered who had taken his place, and at the small hurt the thought caused.
Both former lovers were silent after that, lost in their thoughts ... thinking about their separation and the cause for it. Tommy and Kat were very much aware that, aside from Kat's desperate plea for Jason's life, they hadn't spoken to each other since her confession all these long months ago. Both had shied away from bringing it up but there it was, out in the open between them; the question was, what were they going to do now? Tommy instinctively called on his martial arts discipline to still his thundering heartbeat. It wouldn't do to go off half-cocked at the mouth now. Something that had nagged at him ever since Kat had admitted to him about being intimate with Jason that first time and he'd calmed down enough not to fly into a rage at the thought suddenly would no longer stay silent. Drawing a deep breath, Tommy turned to look at his ex-girlfriend once more and asked the one question he'd never found an answer for.
"What happened between us, Kat? What did I do, or didn't do, that made you turn to Jase? You're both not the type to deliberately hurt a friend, and I've always wondered ...."
"Oh Tommy," the young woman sighed. "I wish I knew. I've asked myself that same question a thousand times, and have only found parts of the answer."
"Then share them with me. Kat, please, I need to know it's been driving me crazy ever since you told me ... what was wrong with me that you went into Jason's arms .."
"It wasn't like that, Tommy," she said immediately. "It's not that something was wrong with you it was just how things turned out." Collecting her thoughts with an effort, Kat fussed a bit with Robin's blanket, then faced her former lover again. "I'll try to explain, but I'm not really sure I can."
"Any explanation is better than none. I ... I wasn't ready to hear one before, but I think I am now." The look in the brown eyes was sincere and open, and Kat had to smile. This was the Tommy she had known and loved, not the cold, hurt and angry man she had seen last. It had always been easy to talk to him, and she tried to do it again.
"Tommy ... I was hurt when you stood me up; not just that one last time, but all the other times, too. I tried to tell myself I wasn't, to accept the demands your racing made on you, but deep down, I was beginning to feel as if being with your crew was more important to you than being with me." She smiled a little to take the sting out of her voice. "Please, don't take this as an accusation or anything; the time for that is long past, and I've lost the right to make them, anyway." Before Tommy could react to this, the blonde went on. "I know rationally that it probably wasn't like that, at least not always, but that's how I felt at the time. Jason ... he was a friend, a good friend, and ... well, whenever he was with me, it seemed as if I was the most important person in his life. I ... I needed that, Tommy. I was lonely without you, and Jason made me feel wanted, and ... and appreciated, I guess."
"I'm sorry," Tommy replied, knowing that there was a lot of truth in Kat's words. "I never meant to neglect you, and I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes, I took the easy way out in calling Jase to substitute for me, but I loved you. Always."
"I know," Kat acknowledged ruefully. "Somehow, I never doubted that. Still, over time it became very easy to be with Jason. He ... he has this way of making someone feel good about oneself ... but I guess you know all that, don't you?"
"Yeah. He's the best the best friend I ever could've wished for. That's why it hurt so much when you told me ..." his voice trailed off as he watched the guilty blush spread over the young woman's cheeks. Kat looked away for long minutes, before she was able to face him again.
"Tommy ... I'll never forgive myself for hurting you like that, but ... if that situation had gone on much longer, I might have turned to Jason anyway. Or at least tried to salvage our relationship, set you an ultimatum of sorts before I got involved with him. That night, when we kissed ... it felt right, or I would've stopped things there and then, I'm sure of that much. I couldn't see it before, but now ... when I had to face the fact that I might lose him ..." She looked away once more; this part of her confession wasn't easy to make, and the realization had almost cost too much, but the long hours of silent vigil next to a comatose Jason had not been completely fruitless. Tommy saw the tears gathering in her eyes. He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and waited until Kat had composed herself.
"You really love him, don't you?" he asked calmly as the blue eyes lifted hesitantly to his again.
"Yes." Kat smiled mistily. "I didn't mean to fall in love with him, and it happened without me realizing it, but Jason's become my life. I fought it as long as I could, but ... I can't imagine going on without him."
The young man pondered the quiet statement for a while. He knew it was the complete truth, and strangely enough, it brought only a small twinge of pain, but a deeper feeling of ... acceptance, was the closest he could come to describing what he felt. Another thought occurred to him. Tommy wasn't sure he wanted an answer, but something made him ask anyway.
"Why Jason, Kat? I mean, I know he's a great guy, and I suppose you girls think he's good-looking, too, but ... why him?"
"Why him and not you, you mean?" Kat dared to tease gently, feeling more confident in the face of Tommy's willingness to really listen. She chuckled lightly at the betraying rush of color flooding Tommy's cheeks. "Hmmm ..... that's a bit difficult to explain. Let me put it this way ... when I was with you, it was ... was like sitting at an open campfire in the mountains, something a bit ... untamed, I guess, wildly romantic, a bit dangerous, but warm and protected nonetheless. Jason ... Jason is an open fireplace; the flame is just as warm, just as nurturing, also with a hint of potential danger, but ... contained. There's a different kind of romance, too."
Tommy nodded; while the fanciful comparison was unusual, it summed up the differences in his and Jason's personalities pretty well. "I can see that. But ..." As if she hadnt heard him, Kat went on.
"I loved being at that campfire, Tommy; there are moments when I still want it, and I guess a part of me always will. Jason knows, and accepts that." Kat drew a deep breath. Her self-knowledge had come at a price that was almost too high, but she would not shy away from the truth anymore. "I may want the campfire, Tommy, but the fireplace is what I need. I almost had to lose Jason to realize that, and I think that's the main reason I turned to him last year. Unconsciously, I must have known even then; I don't know, and it doesn't matter anymore. It's done, and Jason's too much a part of my life now to ever give him up."
"I could have been your fireplace," Tommy said somewhat wistfully as Kat's words sank in.
"I know; I never thought you couldn't," Kat soothed, relieved that her former lover seemed to understand. "But Tommy, are you ready to be one?"
"I .... no. No, not yet." It was hard to face that truth, but necessary. He met the sapphire eyes somewhat shamefacedly. "If ... if we were still together, I couldn't give you that ... not for some time, anyway."
Katherine searched Tommy's eyes. Finding only sincerity beneath the discomfiture, she smiled gently and touched his arm in a gesture that had once been natural and familiar.
"It's okay, Tommy. There's nothing wrong about that; it just means we expect different things from life right now. I've found my haven, and I'm happy. Or I will be, if you could find it within you to forgive us. Do you think you can?" she dared ask, encouraged by their exchange. "I only wish there was a way I could tell you how truly sorry we are to have hurt you ..."
"I know you are, and yes, I can," the young man replied, realizing deep in his soul that it was true. It was what he wanted no, what he had to do if they all were to find peace at last. If Jason could forgive Rocky and Adam for choosing sides against him and Kat ... Adam's phonecall yesterday had been full of relief and gratitude, and truthfully, Tommy couldn't blame his former teammate. The past year, and living with a rift in their once-inseparable group, hadn't been easy on any one of them. At long last, Tommy could see and acknowledge that. Yes, he'd been the wronged party, but things shouldn't have gotten that far. A small rush of shame went through him, but it disappeared almost as soon as it had come the time for it was past, and it would serve nothing and nobody to place fresh blame.
"Th-thank you," Kat whispered into his thoughts, and Tommy looked up to see her sapphire eyes brim over with tears. Her cheeks had gone pale with emotion and her lips quivered as the first crystal drop coursed down. Instinctively, Tommy reached out and wiped it away with his thumb. The gesture was perfectly natural, and brought a tremulous smile to Kat's face.
It had been slightly painful to talk to the blonde dancer, to hear it confirmed that she'd come to love Jason, but Tommy admitted to himself that it felt infinitely right to be sitting here with her, just talking ... almost like during the time before his and Kim's breakup, when he'd used to talk to Kat about their shared experiences as Rita Repulsa's evil pawns. Helping her overcome her guilt as Jason had helped him way back when in what now seemed like another lifetime had once laid the foundation for their friendship, and Tommy found himself wishing to have it back, almost as much as he wanted Jason's.
Slowly, Tommy felt a weight he'd been carrying around for over a year melt and slough off his mind as he sat next to Kat, watching her fiddle a little with her baby's things, meeting her timid sideways glance. He smiled, and reached out again to capture a slender hand in is own.
"It's okay, Kat," he said warmly, squeezing the fingers lying once more so trustingly in his palm.
"Is it? Really?"
"Yes," Tommy said, exhaling slowly. "I wish this didn't sound so pompous, but I do forgive you both of you. Getting back together with Kim ... do you know about that?" he interrupted himself. Whatever else might happen between them from now on, he didn't want to hurt his ex-girlfriend. There'd been enough of that for all of them, and if Kat didn't know, Tommy wanted to tell her about his resumed relationship with Kimberly as gently as possible.
"Yes," Kat smiled back somewhat damply, taking a load off Tommy's mind. "Kim told me when she drove me to the hospital on Friday. I'm very happy for you." Despite herself, she sniffled. At Tommy's slightly alarmed look, her smile grew as she wiped away a last, lone teardrop. "Don't mind me; I'm feeling rather sentimental these days. I really am glad, for you and Kim. You deserve to be happy with each other."
"Oh. Thanks. Well ... uh ... anyway, when Kim and I got back together this summer, something happened that made me understand, sort of, what you were trying to tell me last year, about how you and Jase happened," he fumbled, hoping his pretty companion wouldn't ask exactly what had happened. Tommy wasn't prepared to explain that quite yet, and to his relief he could see that Katherine would not pressure him for details, although he could read the curiosity in her blue eyes. But then, Kat had always been that way, he remembered now, able to read his moods and considerate of his feelings. He'd just chosen to forget that in his justifiable anger.
The baby chose that moment to start fussing in his carriage, on the verge of waking up, and Kat reluctantly rose from the bench. She would've liked to pursue this conversation with her ex-boyfriend, but if Robin should start crying ... "I need to walk a bit to calm him down," she said in a half-whisper. "Would you like to come with me for a while?"
"Sure."
Grateful to have a physical outlet for his pent-up energies, Tommy helped Kat stow the diaper bag and secure it to the pram. Slowly, the two former Rangers began to walk down the paved paths, lost in their thoughts. Unbeknownst to them, they were followed at a distance by a petite brunette in a pink sweatsuit. She was smiling to herself as she watched her friends talk at long last.
~*~
The two ex-lovers wandered slowly through the park, their conversation a bit stilted at first now that the most important things had been said, but a chance remark of "Do you remember when ..." by Kat soon set them at ease. They found common ground in memories of their teen years which seemingly lurked behind every bush or tree, and within a short time, they were laughing easily together, pushing whatever was still painful between them to the far edges of their consciousness. Both Tommy and Kat were aware that it would take time to regain their former ease with each other ... or rather, to build something new and enduring, something different from what they'd shared before on the foundations of their friendship they were rediscovering.
Since it was late in the year, the sun started to sink early behind the distant mountains, shadows lengthened and the lake briefly flamed with brilliant colors, even though it was barely five o'clock.
"I have to go," Katherine sighed, shivering as a cool gust of win rustled the leaves of the trees overhead. She was loathe to give up Tommy's companionship, now that they were talking again, but she definitely didn't want to get sick or make her baby catch cold. Robin had been allright with his lightweight covering as long as the sun was shining, but now ...
"It's getting too cool for Robin," she explained at her friend's questioning glance, tucking the blanket more closely around the limply sleeping little body.
"Uh huh," Tommy agreed, wondering at how disappointed he felt. To his astonishment, he'd truly enjoyed talking to Kat as freely and uninhibitedly as early in their acquaintance. It made him even more sure that forgiving her and Jason was the right thing, the only thing to do. He watched as she slipped on a light jacket, then turned towards him. Her blonde hair was slightly windblown, her porcelain cheeks delicately tinted from the sun and her obvious relief, and the blue eyes, so desolate and empty the last time he'd looked into them once more sparkled with joy and warmth. For an instant, Kat seemed to Tommy as beautiful as he'd ever seen her.
"Kat, I ..." He couldn't go on, couldn't find words for what was going through his mind. All the friendship, love, pain and anger that had been between them vied for dominance, with neither emotion winning or losing, or so it seemed. The Australian continued to look at him, slightly puzzled now, but trusting and open. They were so close, suddenly so in tune with each other as they'd been when they first fell in love, that Tommy couldn't help himself. Shaking himself in momentary disbelief, Tommy nevertheless reached out and drew Kat into his arms. She didn't resist.
Their mouths met, gently at first, then the kiss deepened. It was a seeking, a questioning, that had to be done, and both participated equally until the moment played itself out. Sensations rose, peaked and ebbed, and as the impulse faded, both separated with a familiar, lingering caress that was soothing and good. Slowly, Kat's crystal eyes opened and fastened on chocolate-brown orbs.
Tommy smiled, a little wistfully.
"It really is over, isn't it?"
While Kat had responded fully and unhesitatingly to his kiss, there had been no spark, no acceleration of heartbeats ... but in its place had been a quiet, steady glow that warmed and comforted, but didn't ignite.
"Yes." Katherine laid her cheek briefly against Tommy's, hugged him to show she wasn't angry that he'd taken the liberty, then gently disentangled herself from his embrace. Her eyes never left his face as she smiled back at him. "Can you understand that, under the circumstances, I'm glad?"
"Yeah," the tall young man conceded. "Strange as it sounds, if it wasn't ... God, what a mess we'd be in!"
"I don't even want to think about it!" Kat shuddered. Once had been more than enough to last her a lifetime. Following her thoughts as easily as if he'd been telepathic, Tommy caught a slender hand and raised it to his lips. The blonde opened her mouth and started to express her gratitude for saving Jason's life, for forgiving them, but her companion stopped her with a single look. Kissing the back of her fingers gently, he forestalled any further protestations.
"Don't. As my family pointed out to me so rightly, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had done nothing. And as for forgiving you ... I'm doing this as much for myself as for you." He smiled at Kat's questioning gaze; there was one sure way to convince her, and he took it without hesitation. It was more than time.
"Tell Jase I'll be in to see him soon, will you?" he requested.
"Of course," she agreed immediately, her eyes misting over with joy and relief. "Oh Tommy, it'll mean so much to him ..."
"I know," the erstwhile Zeo Ranger Five replied quietly. "To me, too."
There was nothing more that could be said between the two former lovers, so Kat took her leave, her step light and graceful as she pushed the baby carriage with her still-sleeping baby towards the parking lot. Just before she walked over the small rise, she turned once